


Heartbeat

by ExcessSummer



Category: Actor RPF, Chinese Actor RPF, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV) RPF
Genre: BJYX | Wang Yi Bo/Xiao Zhan | Sean is Real, Established Relationship, Light Angst, M/M, Surprises, WangXian, Yizhan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:34:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27735409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExcessSummer/pseuds/ExcessSummer
Summary: It took Wang Yi Bo and Xiao Zhan two years to begin a relationship, but just as Xiao Zhan was getting used to the idea, something else happens that throws a spanner into the works. Will they be able to withstand the pressure, or will this tear them apart?
Relationships: Wang Yi Bo/Xiao Zhan | Sean, Wang Yibo/Xiao Zhan, Xiao Zhan | Sean & Xuan Lu | Lulu
Comments: 32
Kudos: 117





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have a little confession to make: I have always, always loved mpreg fics, especially the happy ones. I particularly like how improbable it is, which is fantastic fodder for anyone’s imagination — and the perfect seed for fan fiction. I have not been blessed to carry a child myself, but I cannot conceive (hah, sorry for the pun) of anyone not wanting a child when they are given one. It is a blessing of immense proportions. 
> 
> Besides, have you seen both Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo with children? Gosh, they are just frickin’ adorable (if you haven’t, then search for any TU BTS where they’re fussing around with the boy who played A-Yuan, and you’ll know what I mean!) ... so my brain threw those ideas together, and voila! A fic is born.

**December 2019**

The sound of skin slapping against skin was slowly driving Yibo insane.

That, along with the delicious moans coming from the man beneath him, spurred him onto greater heights, working to stave his own release in favour of making sure that his partner achieved his first. Yibo shifted, slipping his palm down to lift a leg higher, snapping his hips to drive in even more forcefully, knowing that he had achieved his goal when the moans changed into high pitched, frantic whining.

“Yes — yes, let me hear you, baobei,” Yibo said through clenched teeth, feeling the heat spreading from his gut to his balls, undeniable and inescapable. “Gonna make you feel good, Zhan-ge, so good.”

“Ah — yeah — fuck,” Xiao Zhan said, eloquently, as another of Yibo’s thrusts hit him just right, his heel scrabbling for purchase where Yibo held it captive against his sweaty shoulder. “Fuck, I — oh god, fuck, I —“

Xiao Zhan’s body seized up as his orgasm hit him, ropes of white spurting onto his stomach and chest, head thrown back, mouth open in a silent scream. Yibo collapsed forward, tempted by the long line of Xiao Zhan’s neck, and sank his teeth into it to muffle his own shout as the fluttering around his cock milked his own release. 

Yibo groaned, planting his palms on the bed to keep himself from totally collapsing onto Xiao Zhan, who was still shuddering even as he held Yibo close, long legs crossed over. They panted into each other’s skin, the combined smell of sweat and sex making a heady combination.

“I think you just killed me, Bo-di,” Xiao Zhan whispered breathlessly. “I can’t feel my legs.”

“I don’t think that’s me, Zhan-ge,” Yibo managed, between pants. “Might be old age.”

At that, Xiao Zhan playfully pushed Yibo off himself, wincing only slightly as the movement dislodged the younger man. “That’s what I get after I let you have your way with me, eh? Be nicer, Wang Yibo.”

Yibo rolled onto his side easily, catching Xiao Zhan by the waist and pulling him closer. “Me? I’m always nice.”

“Then be even nicer and let me up,” Xiao Zhan said, although his hands had already come up to Yibo’s chest, fingers tracing patterns absently. “You know I need to always have a shower afterward if you’re not going to use condoms. It gets itchy.”

“Oh, yeah, right — sorry about that,” Yibo said sheepishly, removing his hands from Xiao Zhan’s waist and starting to move towards the other side of the bed. “I got a bit carried away —“

“Hey, hey,” Xiao Zhan smiled, catching Yibo’s wrist before he could move any further, pressing a kiss onto the pulse point. “I love it, Bo-di, don’t get me wrong. Obviously you enjoy it a lot more without condoms, and I do, too, it’s just — the feeling afterwards isn’t the best.”

Yibo looked at Xiao Zhan, feeling more vulnerable than he had in a long time — after all, it took all of his persistence and insistence to get them to this point, for the better part of almost two years, and for all he knew Xiao Zhan still did not enjoy this as much as he did. “Did you? Love it, I mean?”

“I did,” Xiao Zhan said, his whole face crinkling into the beautiful smile that Yibo fell in love with in the first place. “I do. I love feeling you close, as close as I can have you.”

Despite his own insecurities, Yibo found himself smiling back. God, _how_ he loved this man. “You have me, Zhan-ge,” he said, tracing Xiao Zhan’s kiss-swollen lips with a forefinger. “Never doubt that. In all ways and for always.”

Xiao Zhan cupped the younger man’s cheek before giving him a quick kiss. “Me too, Bo-di,” he said softly. It may have taken them a while to be together like this, Yibo thought, but moments like these made everything worthwhile. “Me too.”

**January 2020**

Xiao Zhan bolted upright, his stomach roiling. He jumped up from the bed, throwing the covers off himself as quickly as he could, and ran to the washroom as everything he had eaten — not much, but clearly enough to do this to him — made a reappearance. Beads of sweat rolled down his face as he gripped the toilet bowl tightly, willing his stomach to settle down.

A large hand came up to his back, caressing it gently. “Zhan-ge? What’s happened?”

Xiao Zhan shook his head, not trusting himself to open his mouth and not puke all over Yibo, whose face was drawn with concern. He dry heaved a few more times, more acid now than anything, his body spasming with the effort. Yibo kept his hand between his shoulder blades, rubbing soothing circles.

“Alright, baobei, just get it all out. Better out than in,” Yibo said quietly. “You want me to get you some water?”

“Please,” Xiao Zhan managed to croak, his throat sore from the throwing up. He tried again. “Yes, please.”

Yibo nodded, giving his back a last rub before getting up from where he had been kneeling on the floor to get Xiao Zhan a glass of water. Now that his stomach seemed to have settled,Xiao Zhan slumped onto a sitting position on the bathroom floor, head in his hands, breathing as deeply as he could. He listened to the sounds of Yibo’s movements in the adjacent kitchen, muted as though underwater, until Yibo returned with a glass.

Xiao Zhan leaned his forehead onto the glass briefly, letting the coolness soothe his fevered brow, before taking a small sip. When his stomach did not react, he took a bigger sip, sighing in relief as the moisture hit his throat and soothed it.

Yibo ran his fingers through Xiao Zhan’s sweaty hair, and Xiao Zhan leaned into the comforting motions. “That’s the second day you’ve thrown up, Zhan-ge,” he said, his voice quiet inside the tiled space. “I told you to go to the doctor, didn’t I?”

“I’m okay, Yibo,” Xiao Zhan said, taking another sip of water. “I think I’ve caught the stomach flu that everyone on set had been getting.”

“Even more reason for you to go to the doctor,” Yibo sighed. “Why are you so obsessed about every single scratch I get when I race or skateboard, but not do the same for yourself?”

“Ah, Lao Wang, a bit of a stomach bug is nothing compared to falling off a motorbike that’s been running at a hundred kilometres an hour. This will go away by itself.”

“You’re such a stubborn ass.”

Xiao Zhan laughed weakly as he finally gave the empty glass back to Yibo. “Says the pot to the kettle.” He heaved a deep sigh, rubbing his fists into his eyes. “My god, I’m beat. I hate stomach flus. I feel like shit.”

Yibo huffed, then shook his head as he held out a hand to Xiao Zhan, which the latter took without hesitation. “Come on, let’s get back to bed then. If this is a stomach bug, like you keep saying it is, then you’ll need all the sleep you can get.” He hefted the older man upright, then wrapped an arm around his waist to support him as they shuffled back to the bedroom. “Is there anything else you can take that would help? Maybe that ginger tea you’re always forcing on me whenever I have some sniffles?”

Xiao Zhan shook his head as he slid down from the circle of Yibo’s arms and onto the nearest bit of bed he could manage, wiggling himself towards his pillow, too tired to get up again and aim properly. “No need, Yibo. I’ll be fine. I just need some sleep.”

“Okay. Sleep, then,” Yibo said, drawing the covers up to Xiao Zhan’s shoulders before slipping back into bed with him and gathering him up into his arms. “And get well. Please.”

“I will,” Xiao Zhan promised, yawning, then snuggling back further into Yibo’s side, seeking warmth like a cat and trying to communicate as much reassurance as he could. “I will.”

~

Unfortunately, his stomach seemed to have other plans.

Xiao Zhan gripped the sides of the basin he had been throwing up on, his eyes watering. He didn’t even _have_ any food to throw up, it being very early in the day and him not having had breakfast yet. He had thankfully begun feeling a lot better in the last twenty-four hours, eating mostly congee and various mild broths, throwing up only a few more times since the night time incident a few days prior, but for some reason it seemed to have decided to return with a vengeance. Closing his eyes in exhaustion, Xiao Zhan could only thank his lucky stars that Yibo wasn’t here to witness it this time, Yibo having left his apartment a few hours before to fly out to Taiwan for a week to shoot two Day Day Up episodes. If he did, his boyfriend would be throwing a fit, and would most likely wouldn’t think twice about picking him up and carrying him to the nearest clinic for a check up, paparazzi and fans be damned.

Xiao Zhan sighed, already feeling wrung out and dry just thinking about the amount of circumvention he’d have to go through just to have himself checked for something as commonplace as a stomach flu. To make matters worse, he had a photo shoot scheduled tomorrow, so all that simply meant that there would be no time to set an appointment today or the next, but he promised himself (and, internally, Yibo) that if his stomach still hadn’t gotten better by then, he’d definitely find the time to make a visit to the doctor, as discreet a one as he can find. Fame had its perks, that was certain — after all, Xiao Zhan had left a perfectly respectable and profitable desk job to chase it, and Yibo had all but sacrificed his youth to it — but sometimes he truly regretted the privacy and freedom that they have lost the process.

Tentatively, and as slowly as possible, Xiao Zhan straightened up, testing to see whether his stomach would rebel again. When nothing happened, he sighed in relief, stopping only briefly to get himself a glass of water, then making his way back to the bed. He crawled under the covers, instinctively seeking the smell he always associated with Yibo: pine, musk, and a bit of motorcycle exhaust, all rolled into one. Taking a deep breath, Xiao Zhan let the sense of comfort and warmth wash over him, imagining Yibo’s fingers carding through his hair, feeling his muscles relax in an almost Pavlovian response even as he missed the man himself.

~

Three days and a relentless barrage of concerned messages from Yibo later, Xiao Zhan found himself sitting in the doctor’s reception office, his personal assistant sitting quietly across from him, scrolling busily through her phone. The doctor was not his usual one, but — as his studio had assured him — she was highly recommended, and was no stranger to non-disclosure agreements for cases such as his. That last bit made Xiao Zhan relax slightly, knowing that he would not have to worry about anything getting out to the general public, whatever his diagnosis may be.

“Mr Xiao?”

Xiao Zhan looked up to find a middle-aged female doctor smiling at him. “Good morning, Mr Xiao. I am Doctor Wu. Please do come in.”

Xiao Zhan stood up, gesturing for his personal assistant to stay behind. He followed the doctor into the consultation room and seated himself at the chair in front of her desk. “Thank you for seeing me at such short notice, Dr Wu. I know that it may have been inconvenient.”

Dr Wu merely shrugged. “It’s quite fortunate that your visit happened to fall on, ah, a day when I had the least number of patients. It’s perfectly alright.” She pulled out a folder and extracted a few pieces of paper from it, and from where Xiao Zhan sat he could see some numbers and a few columns, but that was all.

“I have the results of your tests, Mr Xiao. They’re ... a bit baffling, though.” She frowned at the paper she was holding. “These say you have no bacteria or amoeba present. Although you’ve experienced some episodes of dizziness, you’ve had no fever so far, so this definitely isn’t a viral infection. The fact that this has gone on for almost a week also supports that. So — not amoebiasis, not a stomach flu, and not a virus, either.”

“Okay,” Xiao Zhan said, sitting back with renewed trepidation. “But if it’s not a bug of some sort, then what is it?”

The doctor gave the results another shuffle before looking back at him. “Would you be able to tell me what triggers the nausea?”

“There’s no pattern, really. Sometimes it just comes. Sometimes it’s after I’ve had something to eat, however little. Then sometimes even after I’ve eaten a bit, there’s nothing.”

“How about time? Morning, afternoon, evening ..?”

“Not that I can tell.”

“Hmm,” the doctor said, tapping her chin thoughtfully. “Has there been anything that you have done recently that is out of the ordinary? Eaten something new, began a new activity of any sort ...?”

“Uh —” Xiao Zhan scratched his head. “How recent is recent?”

“Perhaps about a month or so ago.”

“Oh.” He felt his cheeks heat as memories of last month resurfaced in his mind: Yibo, naked. Yibo naked, in his bed. Yibo, naked, in his bed, fucking him senseless. Yes, that definitely was ... an out of the ordinary activity, to say the least. “Ah. Um. Well ... yes. But I don’t think —”

The doctor’s brows rose, clearly taking in his expression and drawing certain conclusions. “Have you had unprotected intercourse over the last month, Mr Xiao?”

“Ah — unprotected —“ Xiao Zhan blinked at the doctor, and again his mind helpfully supplied an image of Yibo’s expression as he came, his face twisted and his skin shining with sweat. With difficulty he pulled himself out of the memory and focused on the conversation. “Well. Alright, yes. But it doesn’t have any bearing in this conversation, does it? I mean —“

“How do you know?”

It was Xiao Zhan’s eyebrows that rose at the question. “Well, unless you’re telling me that my partner has transmitted some sort of STD to me — and I am sure he didn’t, as we both get tested all the time — I don’t see why it’s even pertinent.”

“Well, the good news here is that no, I’m absolutely certain that it’s not an STD.” The doctor looked back at him, then picked out a piece of paper from the pile and pushed it towards him. On top it was labeled ‘urinalysis’; she picked up a pen and circled a number in the column. “Here. That’s what you need to see.”

Xiao Zhan looked down at the number, but it made no sense whatsoever. “I’m sorry ... what am I looking at, Dr Wu?”

“You have hCG in your urine. Typically this kind of count isn’t included in routine urinalysis, but with your symptoms and your management not indicating either gender or name to protect you, the lab ran all they could out of your samples.” She looked at him, obviously expecting him to understand, but when he looked back at her blankly, she simply smiled and tapped the pen on the number.

“What this simply means, Mr Xiao, is that you are pregnant. Congratulations.”


	2. Chapter 2

Xiao Zhan sat on the bed, staring dumbly at the wall opposite, holding the blood test result that utterly confirmed the doctor’s hypothesis. He couldn’t remember how he happened to be holding it, still, at this point; he couldn’t even really remember how he got home in the first place. His assistant, perhaps? He had no idea; all his mind could do was replay a single word, over and over.

Pregnant.

He was _pregnant_.

What the hell.

He hadn’t even really listened to the doctor explaining to him how he — a male — could have gotten pregnant. Words like ‘carrier’, ‘hereditary’, and ‘unpredictable’ flew over his head as he fought to process the bit of news that completely changed everything that he had known in the last few hours. All he knew was that he now had a life growing inside of him: a life that, against all odds, he and Yibo had apparently created.

Yibo. Oh _God_.

In Xiao Zhan’s shock he had completely forgotten about Yibo and his possible reaction to this news. What was he supposed to tell him? _Welcome back from your shoot, baobei, and guess what? You’re about to be a dad._

Xiao Zhan buried his face in his hands. Yibo loved him, he knew that; Yibo had said so, after all, repeatedly and constantly. But Xiao Zhan was no fool and no stranger to fledgling relationships; theirs was but two months old, and saying those three words did not necessarily equate to a willingness to be tied down permanently. Having a child was a lifelong commitment, and there was that very real possibility that Yibo would not stick around for the ride — after all, he was young and still had a whole career ahead of him. Why would he want to throw that away for something that he didn’t even plan on?

And what about his own career? Xiao Zhan had sacrificed so much, worked so hard to get to this point. Would he throw it away? Would he have the strength, or the courage, to walk this path alone?

He had no clue.

~

“Hello?”

Hearing his mother’s voice broke something in Xiao Zhan as the phone in his hands shook. “Mom,” he whispered. “Mom, it’s me.”

He heard a sharp intake of breath. “Zhan Zhan? What’s the matter? You never call at this time — are you alright?”

“I — I think so,” Xiao Zhan said, gathering as much of his courage as he could. “It’s just ... I have a question.”

“You _think_ you’re okay? Zhan Zhan, that’s not a proper answer.”

“Can I get back to that later, Mom? I have something to ask you. It’s important.”

Mrs Xiao sighed. “Fine. But don’t think I won’t ask again. What did you want to know?”

Xiao Zhan looked down at the blood test results on his bed, then at the open laptop which showed the information he’d sought out in a hurry, and gripped his phone tighter. “Mom ... do we have a family history of ... carriers?”

A deafening silence filled the other side of the line.

“Mom?”

“Oh my God. Zhan Zhan ... are you telling me what I think you’re telling me?”

Oh no. Oh _shit_. “Mom, wait, I just wanted to know —“

“You have a great uncle on my side who was a carrier. And they only found out because —“ Her voice took on a stern tone. “Answer my question, Zhan Zhan. Are you telling me what I think you’re telling me? Are you ... pregnant?”

For a split second Xiao Zhan considered lying, but just as quickly discarded the idea. His mother was his closest confidante, after all, and that meant she always knew whenever he was not telling her the full truth. He deflated, clutching the phone to his ear as if it were a lifeline. “Yes.”

He heard his mother take a sharp intake of breath. “Oh, my God, Zhan Zhan,” she whispered.

Even though he knew she could not see him, Xiao Zhan hung his head, his shoulders slumping. “I’m sorry, Mom.”

To his surprise, his mother only sighed heavily. “No, my boy, don’t apologise. I’m not angry at you. You’re an adult, after all, and these decisions are ones you make on your own. I will never condemn you for that, Zhan Zhan.” Mrs Xiao paused. “But I _am_ sorry that I never told you about your Great Uncle Talu. No one in the family liked to talk about it, but maybe if I had taken the precaution —“

“No, Mom, it’s me who ought to have taken the precaution.”

“And tell me, how were you supposed to know that we had a carrier line?” She sounded irritated. “Clearly I never expected you to ever date a man, Zhan Zhan, but at the very least if you also had sons of your own you should have been able to tell them, too, just in case.”

Xiao Zhan rubbed his forehead, where a headache had begun to form. “I don’t know what to do, Mom. I’m ... I’m confused.”

Mrs Xiao’s voice softened. “Are you keeping the child, Zhan Zhan?”

With a start, Xiao Zhan realised that he had never even considered the idea at all, not since the doctor had delivered her shocking news. He had been busy trying to find out more about the insane possibility of his current situation, but not once thought about how he could rid himself of it once he had proven it. “I ... I don’t know, Mom.”

“But do you _want_ to keep it?”

“I ...” He took a deep breath and tried to go over several scenarios as objectively as he could, but his mind’s eye simply glossed over them and went straight to imagining how his child would look like.

Would it be a he or a she? Would the child take after him or Yibo? For some reason his brain conjured a vision of a boy — no more than two or three years old, having Yibo’s heart-shaped face, Xiao Zhan’s eyes, and a smile that put both his fathers to shame — stretching out his arms to Yibo as he demanded to be lifted into his arms. He could see Yibo’s answering smile, blinding in its happiness; he could totally picture the way Yibo would lean over to pick up their son and swing him above his head, making him laugh, loud and joyous, a perfect copy of Yibo’s. He could see it so clearly that he knew, in his heart, that he had actually made the decision already without him even needing to think about it any further.

“Zhan Zhan?”

His mother’s voice cut through his thoughts, pulling him back to reality. “Mom. Sorry. I ... yes.” He cleared his throat, feeling his resolve harden. He had a vision of his ideal future, yes, but he had no idea if Yibo’s presence would be as permanent as he imagined it to be. But no matter. This child was his, his and Yibo’s, a proof of their love. He could not possibly throw it away. “Yes, Mom. I want to keep it.”

Mrs Xiao hummed, and Xiao Zhan thought he could hear a note of pride in her tone. “Then I fully support you on that, Zhan Zhan.”

Xiao Zhan broke into a smile, the first since coming from the doctor’s office. “Thanks, Mom,” he said, his heart lifting a bit. “That means a lot to me.”

“Of course. You will always have my support, my baby boy, never forget.” She paused. “Does Yibo know yet?”

“No, he’s in Taiwan shooting for Day Day Up. It’s not like I can —“ Xiao Zhan stopped in the middle of his sentence in surprise. “Wait — Mom, I never even told you —“

“Oh, A-Zhan. Really. Do you think I wouldn’t know who you could possibly be in a relationship with if it’s not a woman? What do you take your mother for?”

“I — I’m — since when did you know?”

His mother sighed. “You’ve been making cow eyes at each other since Chen Qing Ling,” she said, clearly exasperated. If she were in front of him Xiao Zhan was sure she would be rolling her eyes. “That boy was so obviously smitten, and so were you. But you’ve never brought him to meet us, so with your current condition I’m assuming that you’ve just been seeing each other in secret for a while.”

“Oh my God, Mom, we haven’t even been together that long!”

“Really? Let me guess, then. You played hard to get.”

Xiao Zhan felt his ears go red. “I did _not_!”

“Ah, yes, clearly you did,” she said, her tone teasing now. “If you weren’t having sex since that time, A-Zhan, then it must have been because of you. That boy was not even bothering to hide how much he wanted you — on stage, no less! I saw the videos, don’t forget. If you so much as breathed in his direction —“

“I completely refuse to go into the details of my love life with you, Mom,” Xiao Zhan hurriedly interjected, his face completely hot with embarrassment. “I’ll have you know that I just made sure that what he — what we — felt was true. I’ve seen too many reel life romances fail; I didn’t want to be part of that statistic.”

“So he does love you then, Zhan Zhan?”

Xiao Zhan sighed. “That’s what he says.”

“And you? Do you love him?”

Xiao Zhan paused as he lay back on his bed, staring up at the ceiling and looking at nothing in particular. “Frighteningly so,” he admitted.

“That’s good to hear.” Mrs Xiao said quietly. “Then why did you call me instead of him to tell him the news?”

“I ...” Xiao Zhan hesitated. “I love him, Mom, of that I’m sure. He says he loves me, too, but ... he’s so young. How could he possibly want a child with me when he has so much of the future in front of him, and a lot more people who ... I mean, why would he choose to get stuck with me?”

“What — are you afraid that he would run screaming for the hills or something?”

The image made Xiao Zhan chuckle. “Maybe not screaming, but I’m definitely afraid of the running part.”

“Ah, Zhan Zhan, I wouldn’t make assumptions on such things,” she scolded. “This sort of partnership is a two way street. You did not conceive on your own. At the very least, he deserves to know. If he does run, then you would know what kind of man he is, and that could only be for the good as you consider the future of your child.”

When he didn’t answer, his mother sighed. “Just tell him, Zhan Zhan. Then, whatever happens, come home, and we’ll figure it out together.”

~

“Wang Yibo.”

Yibo looked up to see Zhang-ge smiling as he gestured to the phone in Yibo’s hand. “Messages from your mom, Yibo?”

Yibo blinked at his Day Day Up brother uncomprehendingly. He had been staring at his screen, willing for it to light up with a text message from Xiao Zhan, whom he had been messaging incessantly all day yesterday and as soon as they had landed half an hour ago, but who had not sent a single response in return. His gut had been churning with worry, acid bubbling in his throat, threatening to spill. “Zhang-ge —”

Zhang-ge laughed brightly in response, as if he had said something immensely funny, then leaned forward to poke at him playfully, bringing his face closer to his ear in the process. “Eyes and ears everywhere, Yibo,” he whispered quickly. “Don’t forget.”

 _Shit_. Yibo pulled away, pushing Zhang-ge back as he forced himself to laugh along while surreptitiously glancing around to check the crowded airport. There were no visible cameras, but he’d been in the business long enough to know that that meant nothing. “Yeah, yeah. You know how Mom is. Stop bullying me, Zhang-ge.”

The older man smiled, his posture still relaxed, but his eyes were concerned. “Is she ... alright?”

Yibo heard the real query behind the question. After all, only a few people knew of his and Xiao Zhan’s relationship, and his UNIQ and Day Day Up brothers were amongst those. “Honestly, I don’t know,” he said, loudly, drawing on all his acting skills to keep his face emotionless. “She hasn’t been answering my messages.”

“Ahh,” Zhang-ge said, wagging a finger at him, chuckling. “What’d you do this time?”

Yibo bristled at the insinuation. “Nothing! I didn’t do anything. I’m a totally devoted ... son. You know that, Zhang-ge.”

“Well, we _all_ know that, Yibo,” Zhang-ge rolled his eyes exaggeratedly. “But we also all know that our moms expect a lot from us, sometimes. You know, the usual. Get married soon. Have children. Get a house ...”

“Children?” Yibo laughed again, even as his heart tripped over the idea of having a child with Xiao Zhan. What wouldn’t he give to have _that_. Maybe one day. Someday. “Like _that’s_ going to happen.”

Zhang-ge’s eyebrows rose. “You don’t want children?”

“I’m too young to think of those things, ge,” Yibo said, affecting carelessness. “I’ve a whole career to think of. If mom wants me to have kids, she’ll have to wait a while.”

“Ah, that’s definitely sen —” Zhang-ge stopped midway, his eyes widening and his smile freezing in place as he stared at something behind Yibo. “Oh shit.”

Yibo whirled around only to see a nearby fire exit door swiftly closing. He looked back at Zhang-ge, utterly flummoxed. “Zhang-ge? What is it?”

His Day Day Up brother gave the exit door one last look before turning his full attention back to Yibo. He shook his head even as he kept smiling, but Yibo could see the effort it took for him to do so, his facial muscles twitching. “Ah ... nothing, Yibo. It was nothing.”

 _Fuck all this,_ Yibo thought. Sometimes he truly hated being in this industry, hated the lies and the subterfuge. It was all so unnecessary. “You look like you’d seen a ghost,” he said lightly, tapping Zhang-ge’s shoulder as he did so, trying to leave an opening for the other man to take.

Zhang-ge stared at him briefly, then leaned forward as if to ruffle his hair, but overshooting it to speak softly into his ear, letting the side of Yibo’s face obscure his lips. “I didn’t. But I think I saw Xiao Zhan a few moments ago, Yibo.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of the things that convince me of at least WY’s feelings for Xiao Zhan is the way Yibo’s DDU brothers relentlessly tease him about it (obliquely, of course, they could never speak Xiao Zhan’s name, but their hints are just too good to pass up), and how Yibo blushes when they do, every single time. 
> 
> One of my favorite bits was actually a BTS of the DDU episode where Xiao Zhan was a guest. As they moved around to prepare on the stage, you can see Da Zhangwei accidentally bump into Xiao Zhan, who was surprised by the contact because it even pushed him forward a little. The funny thing is that Da Zhangwei does not apologise to Xiao Zhan: he actually apologises to Yibo, who was beside Xiao Zhan when the contact occurred, and who only belatedly saw what had happened. Yibo takes the apology completely in stride, like it was completely expected. That was the inspiration for Da Zhangwei’s appearance in this fic!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all those who have read this little tale, have bookmarked it, given it kudos, and made comments. Y’all make my day!

Yibo burst into Xiao Zhan’s apartment, panting after having decided that waiting for the elevator was a waste of time and running up five flights of stairs instead. He quickly scanned the space to look for signs that Xiao Zhan was home — but found none. He didn’t know what had happened, but if Zhang-ge was correct, then his boyfriend had been at the airport, and then — for some unknown reason — had fled before Yibo even got to see him.

A dozen scenarios ran through Yibo’s head, each one more terrifying than the last. What had happened? Was Xiao Zhan so sick that he couldn’t wait for Yibo to get home or tell him via text message? Or perhaps he was contagious? But that didn’t make any sense. If he were, he would never have gone to the airport and risked not only being spotted by the paparazzi, but infecting others as well. Xiao Zhan was self-sacrificing to a fault, he knew, and would never do such a thing.

Choked with worry, Yibo sat down on the bed, looking around the room. The laptop was on the bed, its lid open but the screen turned off. A few papers, which looked like medical results, were scattered around it, but a glance at it didn’t tell Yibo much, given that he had no medical training whatsoever. Maybe ... oh _God_ , was Xiao Zhan terminal?

_I have to find him_ , Yibo thought, struggling to regulate his breathing, clutching at the bedspread to try and keep himself from running off again. He had no idea where to start, but he knew, logically, that he had to plan his next steps if he really wanted to find his missing boyfriend. It wouldn’t do to panic.

Just as he was beginning to find a semblance of calm, his phone chimed with a message, and — all desire for logic forgotten — immediately scrambled to pull it out of his pocket, almost dropping it in his haste to look at the screen. To his disappointment, however, it was not from Xiao Zhan, but from their former co-star, Xuan Lu. Briefly he considered ignoring it in favour of trying to think of possible places where Xiao Zhan might be at this moment, but realised that this was actually a blessing in disguise — now he could ask her if she had seen Xiao Zhan, who had struck up a close friendship with her after their shooting days were over — without raising any suspicions.

He swiped the screen open, and stared at it in disbelief when Xuan Lu’s full message was displayed.

_Wang Yibo, you’d better come over here. Right now._

Fuck.

Without hesitation, Yibo got up from the bed and ran.

~

Xiao Zhan lay on his side on his shijie’s bed, facing the wall, exhausted from the day and from crying for the last hour. He had blindly gone to her house after the scene he had witnessed in the airport, not knowing where else to go and needing someone to talk to. Close as they were, Xuan Lu had not been privy to his relationship with Yibo, given how he and Yibo had both tacitly agreed to keep their other Chen Qing Ling co-stars out of the circle that knew, but — judging from her expression once he told her, between sobs, what had happened — she had already suspected anyway and harboured no grudge from having been left in the dark.

He listened to the sounds of his shijie rustling around in the kitchen; she had told him that she would order some takeout so that he could eat while he rested ( _it’s not for you, A-Xian_ , she had said, sternly, when he showed no interest in the idea of food. _It’s for your baby. Think about that_.), so he closed his eyes and tried not to think.

It didn’t work. He heard, over and over, Yibo’s responses to Da Zhangwei, his derisive laugh.

_Children? Like that’s going to happen._

_I’m too young to think of those things, ge._

_I’ve a whole career to think of._

Fresh tears began to form in his eyes as Xiao Zhan curled himself into a ball, his hand instinctively coming to rest on his stomach. He had known the truth of it, after all, but hearing it from Yibo unexpectedly brought its own kind of hurt. He looked down at his tummy sadly. “I’m so sorry, my baby,” he said to his stomach, sniffling. “I wish you didn’t have to hear that. But don’t worry ... your baba might not want you, but I do, I do. I promise.”

He thought of his earlier vision. Now he could see himself in Yibo’s place, laughing with his child, and he felt resolve replace his sadness. _I can do this_ , he thought. _I can._

“Papa will take care of you,” he continued, louder, his voice gaining strength even as he looked away from his stomach, nodding at the wall opposite as if he were in conversation with it. “And I will fight tooth and nail to keep you. I may not have planned for you, but you and I — we’ll get through this together, my little one.”

“And I suppose I get no say in that, then?”

Xiao Zhan almost jumped out of his skin at the sound, whirling around on the bed to find Yibo standing inside the room, apparently having entered without him even noticing. Xiao Zhan’s eyes flicked to where Xuan Lu was now closing the door behind Yibo, her face apologetic and determined at the same time, mouthing _talk to him_ as she did.

_Traitor_ , he thought at her as she disappeared, mentally taking back every charitable thought he’d ever had for her. _I’m forever disowning you._

But ... alright. First things first.

Xiao Zhan took a deep breath, fortifying himself, then looked up to meet the other man’s eyes.

“It’s alright, Yibo. You don’t have to worry about this. I won’t breathe a word. I know you didn’t sign up for this —“ He faltered at the flash of hurt that appeared on Yibo’s face, but knew that if he didn’t say this now, he’d never be able to. He had to be strong, if only for his child. “— so I free you from any responsibility. I won’t even ask for support —“

At this, Yibo began to stalk forward, moving towards the bed, brows snapping together. “What the hell are you even on about?”

Xiao Zhan blinked in surprise. “I — I thought you knew — about the baby, I mean — didn’t shijie tell you ...?”

“Oh, she did,” Yibo said, now reaching the foot of the bed and kneeling on it. “I know. And even if I didn’t, you talking to your stomach would have clued me in.”

“Then why are you asking me to clarify what I just said?” Xiao Zhan asked, feeling oddly defensive as his hand flew to his stomach again. “Wasn’t that clear enough? I’m taking responsibility, Yibo. You said it yourself — you’re too young to think of these things, and you have a whole career ahead of you — whereas I —“

“I fucking _hate_ it when you say that, Zhan-ge, I really do,” Yibo hissed. “Why do you always use that as an excuse in this relationship? I may be younger than you, but I am committed to this, to us, as much as you are. When will you ever believe me?”

“You said it yourself, Yibo. I didn’t dream it up or invent it.”

“When did I even do that?”

“A few hours ago, to Da Zhangwei,” Xiao Zhan said, feeling himself becoming furious now. How could Yibo not know, when he had just said it?“Don’t even try lying to me. I was there, I heard it.”

“Oh, for fuck’s —“ Yibo scooted forward, placing himself in Xiao Zhan’s space, making Xiao Zhan move backward until the bed’s headboard kept him from going any further. Yibo reached out to grab Xiao Zhan’s wrist. “Listen to me, will you? It was a fake discussion, Zhan-ge. I’d been sending you messages nonstop because you weren’t answering me, and he reminded me that I shouldn’t be doing that, that the paps were just waiting for me to do anything even remotely suspicious, so we started talking in code.”

Xiao Zhan frowned, confusion replacing anger as he looked down at Yibo’s hand completely covering his wrist, warm and familiar. “Code?”

“Yes, in code. They know about us, remember?”

“Yes. But I still don’t understand.” Xiao Zhan looked up at Yibo’s face. “How did your — code talk — get to the point where you were talking about children?”

Yibo sighed and, apparently sensing the change in mood, loosened his grip and turned Xiao Zhan’s wrist over so that he could tangle Xiao Zhan’s fingers in his. “We pretended we were talking about my mom. Of course we were actually talking about you, because he was asking me how you were. I told him that you weren’t answering my messages, and because we’d started on the topic of my mom, he simply repeated what he’d heard those interviews talk about all the time — like how my mom must want me to get settled, have children, yada yada. So I told him what I also tell interviewers when they ask me about it.”

“So — you mean —“

“Ge, I will _always_ tell people that I’m too young to think of those things because it’s the safest thing to say. Everyone expects that of me. Even _you_ expect that of me, apparently.” Yibo looked at him sadly. “Even when I’ve told you, over and over, that I’m a hundred percent with you in this, you apparently don’t believe me. You’ve chosen to believe what you heard, completely by accident, and made your assumptions about what I will or will not do.”

Xiao Zhan reeled from the accusation, feeling his anger rise again. “Don’t you think I’d love for you to be with me in this situation, didi? What kind of father would I be, not to want a complete family for my child?” He tugged his hand free from Yibo’s light grip. “It’s not that I don’t believe in your commitment where it comes to us being boyfriends. I do! But a child changes things. You’ll be trapped, and the career you’ve worked so hard for —“

“And what, like _you_ don’t have one to worry about as well?” Yibo said, his voice scathing. “Have you thought about how it would affect you and your career?”

Xiao Zhan shook his head. “That’s a decision for me to make, Yibo.”

“And you think I don’t have the right to decide on mine?”

“Bo-di —“

“Stop making decisions for me, Zhan-ge,” Yibo insisted. “In the same way that your career is yours to worry about, so is my career for me to deal with. Would you want for me to tell you to get rid of this child because it would derail you? Would you appreciate me making decisions for you, unilaterally, that way?”

Xiao Zhan flinched. “Of course not —“

“Then don’t do it to me, either. I should be the one who gets to decide whether I want to be with you, to be the father of our child with you. I am not some three year old who you need to coddle, Zhan-ge. I’m your equal in this. I know I act like a brat sometimes, but believe it or not, I actually know what I want and what I don’t.” Yibo reached out to touch Xiao Zhan’s face, tracing his jaw with gentle movements even as his eyes blazed. “I want _you_ , Zhan-ge. I want you and everything that comes with it, so get used to that fact.”

At that, Xiao Zhan’s body simply gave up, and he folded forward, his arms going around Yibo’s neck and burying his nose in his hair. “Yibo,” he whispered, feeling as if his heart was being pumped full of helium, making him choke and laugh at the same time. “Warn a man before you say such things. I swear, you’re going to be the death of me someday.”

He felt, more than heard, Yibo’s breathless chuckle. “That’d be one of the best ways to go, I’d say.”

“Life well spent.”

“Indeed.” Yibo kissed the side of Xiao Zhan’s head before grasping his shoulders to gently disentangle them, then looked into his eyes. “Look. I know you still don’t believe everything I’ve said, baobei —”

Xiao Zhan frowned. “No, Yibo —”

“Listen to me first, okay?” Yibo looked down at Xiao Zhan’s stomach, then tentatively placed a hand over it. “I know you still don’t fully believe it. And I get it, I understand. But I will spend my life convincing you, baobei, until you finally do. And it starts with this little one right here.”

Xiao Zhan gave him a watery smile and covered Yibo’s hand with his. “It’s as good a start as any.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As many people have said before me: if you don’t find a man who is as devoted to you as Yibo is to Xiao Zhan, it’s better to be single! <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of fluff, feels ... and well, go ahead and draw your own conclusions on the third word! :-)

That night, with the curtains drawn and the single lamp lit on the bedside table, Yibo slowly worshipped Xiao Zhan’s body, unwrapping him like the gift he’d always thought he was.

Xiao Zhan watched him with hooded eyes as Yibo flicked each button on his shirt open, planting kisses on every inch of skin that was revealed. Ghosting his fingers over the older man’s chest, Yibo skimmed over a nipple, treasuring the way Xiao Zhan gasped and writhed on the bed in response. Yibo loved how responsive Xiao Zhan was in bed; at any other time he’d be in control of his emotions, but where it came to sex he was loud, appreciative, and wild. It was like watching a piece of string unravel, tightly wound in the beginning, then loose and limp in the end.

It was a sight. _Xiao Zhan_ was a sight, and one that Yibo will never tire of.

Shadows danced across Xiao Zhan’s skin as Yibo bared him to his heated gaze, and when Xiao Zhan lifted his hips to help shimmy his pants off, it was like watching a sculpture coming to life, perfect in every way. He ran his tongue down the trail of hair from Xiao Zhan’s stomach to his erection, gifting him with kitten licks and quick nips, making the other man mewl and yelp in turn. Without warning Yibo slid his hands underneath Xiao Zhan’s hips, lifting him so that his thighs were on Yibo’s shoulders, opening him in the process. Yibo leaned forward and gave the tightly furled hole a lick and a suck, and Xiao Zhan positively _howled._

“Hoooly — fuck, Yibo —” Xiao Zhan cried out, his hands opening and closing helplessly on the sheets even as he bucked, causing Yibo to hang on to him tightly to avoid dropping him.

“Shh, Zhan-ge,” Yibo hummed, digging his fingers into Xiao Zhan’s thighs. “You’ll wake the neighbours.” Then, just because he could, Yibo simply spread Xiao Zhan’s legs wider and began eating him out in earnest.

Prior to Xiao Zhan, Yibo had had exactly one other boyfriend, and in that relationship he was at the receiving end of these kinds of ministrations, enjoying the sensations, taking them as if they were his due. But with Xiao Zhan all of Yibo’s preexisting ideas about love and sex were turned on their head; he could not think of anything else but pleasing Xiao Zhan, of loving his body in every way he knew, of speaking about the depth of his devotion in a language that could not be misunderstood. And tonight — tonight, they were together again, giving and receiving pleasure in a different yet familiar way, and Yibo shuddered at the thought that he almost, almost lost this. 

_Never_ , Yibo thought, a fierce possessiveness sweeping over him even as he listened to Xiao Zhan’s keening; Xiao Zhan was his, the baby in his womb was his, and they would _both_ be forever his. No one else’s.

With fervent vigour Yibo now pushed both forefingers into Xiao Zhan’s hole, sinking in easily up to the first knuckle, licking around them and using the point of his tongue to jab further into the pink furl, losing himself in the powerful smell of musk and arousal.

At that Xiao Zhan bucked, hard, and with a long, drawn out moan came, spurting onto his stomach and chest, some of it even hitting his own chin.

Without hesitation, Yibo then flipped Xiao Zhan over, entering him in one long push, Xiao Zhan now completely pliant even as he panted harshly from his own aftermath. It was incredible, feeling the velvety heat clutching at him, squeezing him in an exquisite fluttering; their position didn’t allow for much angling, but Yibo could still count on the power of his own arms and legs to give him some traction as he thrust in and out of that tight channel.

“Shit, that’s it,” Yibo said through gritted teeth. “That’s it. So — fucking — tight.”

In response Xiao Zhan pushed up onto his elbows, allowing him to pull his knees up from under him and giving Yibo an even better position to fuck him. “Yeah, oh, god — Yibo, come on, harder — you can do it harder —”

Yibo shored himself up with one knee on the bed and the other foot on the floor, shoving himself even further into the sweet clench of Xiao Zhan’s body, chasing the high that was already within reach, pummelling mercilessly. “Mine,” Yibo growled, half-delirious, sweat rolling down his back. “Mine, mine.”

“Yes, yes,” Xiao Zhan groaned, his head hanging as he absorbed the impact of Yibo’s movements, his eyes closed, sheets fisted in his hands. “Yours — always yours —”

And with one final thrust, Yibo exploded, so hard he saw stars.

~

They lay facing each other, afterwards, holding each other close, coming down together.

“Hey,” Yibo said after a moment, running his fingers gently down Xiao Zhan’s arm. “You okay? No pukey feeling?”

Xiao Zhan giggled. “Oh, _now_ you ask?”

“I’m trying to be a concerned father-to-be, Zhan-ge, shut up,” Yibo said, tweaking his nose with a grin. “But tell me, baobei. Do ... activities like these trigger your nausea?”

“No,” Xiao Zhan smiled. “I don’t know what triggers it. Morning sickness, apparently, isn’t just in the morning. What a terrible misnomer is there ever was one.”

“What did the doctor say?”

“I didn’t hear much, to be honest. I’ll have to visit an obstetrician to find out more. All I know is the fact that I’m pregnant at all simply means that I’m a carrier.”

Yibo frowned. “What’s that mean?”

“It’s a hereditary condition that allows a male to carry a child. Turns out I have a great uncle from my Mom’s side who was one. Clearly I inherited it from him.”

“How did you know?”

“Mom told me —” Xiao Zhan stopped in mid sentence. “Oh. Shit. By the way ... my mom knows about us now. Sorry.”

Moving away slightly to allow himself to look at Xiao Zhan’s face more fully, Yibo raised an eyebrow at him. “Oh, so _now_ you tell me?”

“Don’t take it against me. I didn’t know who to talk to when I found out about our baby, and I needed to confirm what I’d researched about it. Who else was I supposed to ask?”

“Me!”

“And you would know that I apparently have a carrier line? Sure.”

Yibo shook his head as he sighed. “It’s just ... I wish I was there with you. That I was there _for_ you. It must have been frightening, to be so alone.”

“It wasn’t frightening ... just confusing. I mean — who could have predicted this? Certainly not me.”

Yibo pulled Xiao Zhan towards his chest, where the older man obligingly settled, snuggling. “So ... what did your Mom have to say about me?”

To his surprise, Xiao Zhan chuckled. “I didn’t tell her. When she found out about my pregnancy, she immediately assumed that you were the father.”

“What? You’re kidding me.”

Xiao Zhan raised his hand, holding out the same three finger salute that Wei Wuxian used in their filming days. “Nope. She said — and I quote — we’d been making cow eyes at each other since A-Ling, apparently, so it made sense to her that if I were in a relationship with a man, it would be with you.”

Yibo caught Xiao Zhan’s fingers, kissing them as he laughed. “I knew there was a reason why I loved your mom.”

“Well, you’d better. She was the one who convinced me to tell you, after all.” Xiao Zhan lifted himself up on an elbow and poked at Yibo’s chest. “I guess she approves.”

“Of course, she would.” Yibo smirked, gesturing towards himself. “I mean, look at me. What’s not to like?”

Xiao Zhan rolled his eyes even as he smiled. “You’re lucky I love your narcissistic ass.”

“I think it’s been well-established that I love your ass more,” Yibo countered, giving that particular body part a fond pat. “And your eyes. And your smile. And your —”

“Oh, shut up, will you?” Xiao Zhan smacked Yibo lightly, blushing. “Don’t start.”

“Aw, baobei, how can I not? You just blush so prettily.” Yibo reached out to trace Xiao Zhan’s cheek, chasing the heat there. There was, of course, no denying that his boyfriend was beautiful — but when Xiao Zhan blushed, he simply transcends that definition, and Yibo’s heart never fails to skip at the sight. “I can only hope that our baby takes after you. Like, a complete replica.”

Xiao Zhan frowned. “What? No. I want him or her to have your face. Our baby will be beautiful that way.”

“Okay, fine,” Yibo said easily. “Let’s just agree to disagree. I’ll wish that our baby looks like you, and you go ahead and wish for him or her to look like me.”

Xiao Zhan rolled his eyes again, then put his head back down onto Yibo’s chest. “Fine.”

Yibo chuckled as he leaned over and kissed Xiao Zhan’s shoulder. “You sound unhappy about that.”

“Only because I’m already imagining a little Yibo running around the house. He’d be so adorable!”

“That’s assuming we have a boy.”

“I don’t know why, but I just keep imagining it that way, right from the moment I allowed myself to picture it.” Xiao Zhan drummed his fingers over Yibo’s stomach, sounding pensive. “My rational brain tells me not to believe it, but my gut feel tells me it’s going to be a boy.”

“Huh. Speaking of,” Yibo said, “Do we get to find out gender when you visit the obstetrician?”

“Not yet,” Xiao Zhan laughed. “It’s too early. My stomach isn’t even showing at all! The only thing they’d be able to show me would be the baby’s heartbeat.”

“Not just you, Zhan-ge,” Yibo protested. “I want to go with you to that appointment, too. I want to be there when we hear our baby for the first time.”

Xiao Zhan lifted his head from his position to look into Yibo’s eyes. “Are you sure? However would you be able to manage that? I mean — aren’t you, like, full for the next month or so?”

“I don’t care,” Yibo said carelessly. “I’ll find a way.”

“Baobei,” Xiao Zhan frowned, a warning tone in his voice. “Don’t do anything rash. You know we can’t afford suspicion from anyone who’s outside of our circle —”

“You worry too much, Zhan-ge,” Yibo interrupted.

“I’m not, I’m just being realistic.”

Yibo sighed. “Alright, alright. How about this then? You go ahead and schedule that appointment with the obstetrician. Then let me know when you manage to get a day and time. If I’m free, then I go with you. Okay?”

Xiao Zhan narrowed his eyes at Yibo, clearly suspicious, but could not come up with any counter argument. “Huh. Fine. But you’re not cancelling anything, alright? Promise me.”

_Doesn’t mean I can’t do something else,_ Yibo thought, then gave Xiao Zhan the most innocent smile he could muster. “I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve also seen Yibo’s photos when he was a baby and OMG he had the cutest cheeks ever (he still does, actually)! Can y’all imagine Xiao Zhan running around, being chased by a mini Yibo? I can!!!


	5. Chapter 5

Somehow Yibo managed to do good on his promise. Xiao Zhan deeply suspected that some finagling had occurred somewhere, but to be perfectly honest, he was just too ecstatic to have Yibo with him right now to question it any further. After all, this was the first time they would get physical, tangible proof that their baby was there, and Xiao Zhan couldn’t ask for a more perfect scenario than both of them being there for it.

In front of him the obstetrician gave both of them an indulgent smile, looking at their joined hands and holding the ultrasound paddle aloft. “Ready, daddies?”

Xiao Zhan nodded eagerly and saw Yibo do the same.

“Okay, then, let’s meet the little one,” she said, expertly handling the device and placing it on Xiao Zhan’s bared stomach. As one, they turned to look at the small black and white screen to watch the proceedings. “Here we go.”

Xiao Zhan blinked, seeing a grainy image of what looked like a pulsating cavern holding a round object. Yibo glanced at him, his eyes round, then looked back the monitor.

“Is that ... is that our baby, Dr Yu?”

“Yep,” the doctor nodded, her eyes on the screen as she swept the paddle back and forth in circular motions, then reached over to fiddle with a knob. “Now let’s see if we can hear him or her.”

To Xiao Zhan’s surprise, they heard a rhythmic _dub-dub-dub-dub_ , faster than the normal rate that he had been expecting. But before he could say anything, Yibo spoke up, his hand gripping Xiao Zhan’s tightly.

“That sounds pretty fast,” Yibo said, frowning. “Is that normal?”

“Absolutely.” The doctor smiled at Yibo kindly. “I know you have a history of heart issues, Mr Wang, but I can assure you — right now, at least — that this heartbeat rate is not an indication of whether he or she has inherited that. It’s simply that babies are developing very rapidly at this stage, so their hearts are keeping up with that. It’s perfectly normal.”

Xiao Zhan felt Yibo relax minutely, and he briefly gripped Yibo’s hand back before turning his attention back to the doctor. “How far along am I by now, doc?”

“Based on fetal development and the heart rate, it’s safe to say that you’re about eight weeks on,” the doctor replied.

“Eight?” Xiao Zhan spluttered even as Yibo began to laugh, loud and raucous. “But — but —“

Dr Yu looked completely bemused. “But?”

“I mean — if it’s eight weeks — then that’s —“

“Probably the first time we ever had sex,” Yibo said, finally managing to get himself under control, but with a smirk still on his face as he looked at the doctor. “Forgive my boyfriend, Dr Yu. He’s just in shock.”

Xiao Zhan blushed, feeling his ears go pink. “Shut up, Wang Yibo, are you even human?”

“A very fertile human, apparently,” Yibo winked.

Xiao Zhan covered his face. “Aiya, I’m going to die of embarrassment, right here.”

The doctor chuckled as she watched them, putting the equipment away as she did so. “Alright, so apart from that particular question, gentlemen, do you have any others?”

Yibo sobered immediately. “How about nutrition and activity, Dr Yu? What can he eat, what can he not eat? Are there things he should avoid doing?”

“Hmm. That’s a good question. You both are actors, and I know you’re very careful about weight and such. However, being pregnant is not the time for a diet.” She looked critically at Xiao Zhan. “Mr Xiao, you will have to eat well-balanced meals, and you have to eat more, because you’re eating for two people. You should not go hungry or skip meals. Avoid alcohol and junk.”

Xiao Zhan sighed and nodded. “I understand.”

“As for activity — male pregnancies carry a higher risk of miscarriages due to their very nature. Therefore, I need for you to avoid frequent strenuous activity. No lifting, no carrying, as much as possible, especially for the first trimester.” She went over to her desk and pulled out a few pamphlets. “Here are some basic guidelines for expectant mothers, but they also apply to you, if not more so. I assume you already have a nutritionist ...?”

“He doesn’t. I’ll get him one,” Yibo said, reaching over to take the pamphlets.

“I don’t need one,” Xiao Zhan began, frowning. “I’ll just eat well —”

Yibo rolled his eyes. “No offense, Zhan-ge, but your idea of eating well is anything that comes up in your head. And when you’re filming, that’s just usually chips or crackers.”

“Okay, fine, I’ll eat _better_.” Xiao Zhan glared at Yibo, who merely shrugged.

“And I’m sure you’ll eat better if you have someone who could make your meals for you, rather than let you go off on your own.”

Xiao Zhan opened his mouth to protest, but the doctor cut in, shaking her head and smiling at the same time. “Okay, okay, lovebirds, break it up,” she said, waving a prescription pad between them. “Clearly this is a point of contention. I’m sorry, Mr Xiao, but Mr Wang has the right of it. It would be better to have your meals managed during your pregnancy to ensure the proper development of your baby. Would you not want him or her to be as healthy as possible?”

Xiao Zhan sighed in defeat. “Yes, of course.”

Yibo watched Xiao Zhan briefly, and then — in a move that completely surprised Xiao Zhan — crouched down, putting his face level to Xiao Zhan’s stomach and cupping his hand around his mouth. “Okay, baby,” he stage whispered, “Here’s the deal. Everyone pulls their weight in this family. Papa’s job is to eat well for you, and my job will be to take care of both of you. Your job will be to grow well. Alright?” He lifted his eyes to meet Xiao Zhan’s. “What do you think?”

Xiao Zhan had to keep himself from physically grabbing Yibo and giving him a hug, but he couldn’t stop becoming teary-eyed at the sight. “I think you’re adorable,” he said with a watery smile. “And I think our baby is the luckiest baby in the world to have you as his baba.”

Yibo smiled back as he gave Xiao Zhan’s stomach a gentle kiss, nuzzling it with his cheek. “No, I’m luckier.”

~

Yibo came home to Xiao Zhan’s apartment two nights later, smiling to himself and feeling smug. He had managed to get off work early again today, cajoling Han-ge and Feng-ge into exchanging shooting times with him to allow him to be done by five. Fortunately, there were rumours of some sort of virus going around, so everyone seemed to be keen to finish fairly early anyway, and it had all worked out in his favour.

He shifted the prepared bag of food from one hand to the other and opened the door, putting his keys down on the small plate that Xiao Zhan had placed on top of the kitchen counter for just that purpose.

“Honey, I’m ho-ome,” he sang, lifting his voice to be heard when he didn’t immediately see Xiao Zhan anywhere in the living room or kitchen.

His boyfriend appeared then, but Yibo was surprised to note the absence of his usual welcoming smile. Instead, Xiao Zhan frowned at him.

“Eh? What’s with the face?” Yibo placed the bag on the dining table, then stepped forward to try and take Xiao Zhan into his arms. “What’s wrong?”

Xiao Zhan stepped backward, avoiding his grasp. “Your manager called.”

Yibo lifted an eyebrow. “And?”

“She was looking for you. Apparently you weren’t supposed to be off yet, but you had been ignoring her calls.” Xiao Zhan crossed his arms. “And then we got to talking about how you’ve been moving you’re schedules around.”

 _Uh oh_. Yibo tried a smile. “It’s not a big deal, ge.”

“Yibo, didn’t I tell you not to cancel anything?”

“Yes, you did. But I didn’t cancel anything. Moving around isn’t cancelling!”

“You know what I meant, Yibo.” Xiao Zhan threw his hands up into the air. “Moving the Chanel shoot, of all things? You’re lucky they didn’t sue your management for breach of contract.”

Yibo shrugged. “It fell on the day of the OB visit. They could have sued me and I wouldn’t have cared at all. I told you I wanted to be there.”

“Yibo, you crazy, crazy boy.” Xiao Zhan sighed and shook his head. “What am I going to do with you?”

“Love me?”

Xiao Zhan covered his face with both hands. “I do. Heaven help me, but I do.”

Seeing how upset Xiao Zhan really was, Yibo moved forward and placed his hands on Xiao Zhan’s waist to pull him in. “Oh, come on, Zhan-ge,. Okay, I got a reprimand from them. So what?I got to see our baby for the first time. Nothing beats that.”

“I can’t say I disagree with you on that, and I really appreciate the effort, baobei.” Xiao Zhan said, sounding both exasperated and fond. “But if we aren’t careful, all that we’ve worked for to even make this possible won’t exist anymore.” He uncovered his face and regarded Yibo seriously. “You understand that, right?”

Yibo sighed. “Yes. I do.”

“Then promise me you won’t pull this sort of stunt again.”

“Fine. I won’t.”

“And you’ll stop ignoring your manager’s calls.”

Yibo flinched. “But, Zhan-ge —”

“No excuses, Yibo,” Xiao Zhan said, a warning in his tone. “Yi-jie has my number. I know she knows about us, but she keeps calling me whenever you disappear. At some point someone’s bound to overhear, and if that happens —“

“Alright, alright, you’ve made your point,” Yibo grumbled. “I won’t ignore her anymore.”

Xiao Zhan finally smiled at him, obviously relieved, pulling Yibo into an embrace. “Thank you, baobei.”

Yibo exhaled into Xiao Zhan’s hair, burying his nose into the crook between his neck and shoulder. “Anything for you and our baby, Zhan-ge,” Yibo said. After a few moments, he lifted his head and looked at Xiao Zhan’s face. “Hang on. Speaking of — how is our baby today? How were _you_?”

“A single episode of puking. Otherwise, all quiet.” Xiao Zhan then lifted his head, nose flaring and eyes searching. “Wait a minute. Is that ... cilantro I’m smelling?”

“Eh?” Yibo pushed Xiao Zhan slightly away from him. “Yes. I had Lele pick up our food from the nutritionist — but I don’t get it — you’ve never liked cilantro before —“

“Fuck. I still don’t,” Xiao Zhan managed to say before he turned pale and ran for the bathroom, his hands covering his mouth.

Yibo listened to the sounds of Xiao Zhan throwing up in the bathroom; after a moment he went over to the bag and pulled the whole bunch of his favourite vegetable out. He regarded it briefly, and with a decisive shrug, went out to the hallway and threw the whole thing into the garbage chute.

“Oh, well,” Yibo said in resignation as he heard the sounds it made on its way down. “Goodbye for now, cilantro. We’ll meet again, I guess.”

His mission accomplished, Yibo went back into Xiao Zhan’s apartment where he found Xiao Zhan sitting on the couch, his head thrown back and his face pale, holding his stomach. Yibo felt terrible seeing his boyfriend in that state, feeling partly responsible for it, but he _did_ need to know something important that couldn’t wait. “Er — Zhan-ge?”

In response Xiao Zhan grunted, then cracked an eyelid open to look at him.

Yibo smiled sheepishly, scratching his head. “Would you be alright with vinegar, at least?”


	6. Chapter 6

That night — nausea episode finally over — Xiao Zhan lay flat on his back, one arm under his head, fondly contemplating Yibo’s head as he alternately nuzzled and softly sang to Xiao Zhan’s stomach. He reached out and ran his fingers through the younger man’s hair, deliberately running his nails over his scalp like he knew Yibo liked.

“Mmmm,” Yibo said, then looked up at Xiao Zhan’s face. “Are you trying to distract me? I’m trying to have quality time with our baby here.”

Xiao Zhan laughed. “No. Just that I figured if you’re trying to lull our baby to sleep, then I should do something similar for you.”

Yibo smiled. “That’s not going to make me feel sleepy, Zhan-ge.”

“Oh no?” Xiao Zhan frowned. “But when we worked on A-Ling you used to ask me to do that for you when we would watch movies with the rest of the group. You said it would help you sleep.”

“And do you ever remember me falling asleep when you did that?”

“Of course.” Xiao Zhan began, then paused in confusion, recalling the times when most of the cast would gather in Yu Bin’s room for movies and cheap beer and Yibo would end up on the floor beside Xiao Zhan, asking him to rake his fingernails on his scalp lightly, like a cat asking to be scratched. Once he started, Yibo would close his eyes, make a contented sound, and stay still for the rest of the evening. Surely he had fallen asleep during those times? At least it looked like he did. “I mean — you did, right?”

Yibo giggled his little gremlin laugh. “Nope.”

“What?”

“I wanted to be close to you, and for you to pay attention to me and nothing else, not even the movie. The only way I figure that would happen is if you were touching me at any point in time. But if I asked you to do anything else you’d probably freak out, so I got you to scratch my head.” Yibo shrugged. “The thing was that it was both comforting and arousing at the same time, so I just closed my eyes and stayed still the whole time. Otherwise I’d have jumped you in front of everyone.”

“Oh my God, Yibo,” Xiao Zhan exclaimed, covering his face with his hands. “The things you say!”

“What? It’s true,” Yibo said without a trace of embarrassment. “I told you. I wanted you from the very start. You were just slow to get on the program.”

“Shut up.” Xiao Zhan pulled the pillow under his head and used it to whack Yibo, which the latter dodged expertly. “Don’t say things like that in front of the baby. He might think his parents are perverts or something.”

“Pfft. Is it perversion if it’s the truth?” Yibo leaned back down towards Xiao Zhan’s stomach. “Pay your father no attention, baby. He’s just hormonal.”

“Hey!” Xiao Zhan grabbed Yibo’s wrist to pull him up and tweak his cheek. “I’ll show you hormonal!”

Yibo laughed, loud and obnoxious, even as he tried to pull away from the pinch. Unsuccessful, he instead used his momentum to prop himself on both palms placed on either side of Xiao Zhan’s head and dropped a kiss on his nose. “Fine, fine. Not hormonal. Just being a hyper conscious gege.”

Something in Yibo’s teasing tone made Xiao Zhan pause. “Actually, Yibo — you’re right. I need to be hyper conscious. _Both_ of us need to be, especially now.”

Yibo raised an eyebrow. “Eh?”

Xiao Zhan rolled sideways, bringing Yibo with him, so they could lie on their side and face each other. Yibo frowned, as if completely confused as to the sudden turn of things from playful to serious.

“Zhan-ge, I didn’t mean to —“

“No, no, it’s not a bad thing, baobei,” Xiao Zhan said hastily. “Just that what you said reminded me. I know we’re trying to keep this — all of this, between us — a secret, but do you realise that soon enough I’ll be showing? The doctor did say that it’s lucky I’m tall and thin, so the baby is probably going to take longer to show, but that’s not going to last forever.”

Yibo frowned. “You know I don’t mind telling —“

“Yes, I know. But we’d both be out of a job if we do. And with a baby coming, I want to make sure we’re financially ready for his or her future, too. For that we need our careers.”

“No, we don’t,” Yibo shook his head. “I have enough savings. We can buy ourselves a house, then start a business —“

Xiao Zhan smiled sadly. “I wish it were that simple. How long would savings last, with three people to feed? And if we were to be outed, people wouldn’t even touch our business with a ten foot pole in this country.”

“Okay, then let’s move elsewhere.”

“Ah, Yibo, Yibo, my silly baobei,” Xiao Zhan said, caressing Yibo’s cheek gently, his heart full of fondness and mild exasperation. “That’s easy to say and hard to do. Do you think we could just disappear like that? Of course not. Wherever we go, people would still recognise us, thanks to A-Ling’s international release. We won’t have a moment’s peace, and neither will our baby.”

“That’ll die down soon enough —”

“That’s wishful thinking.”

Yibo sighed, finally deflating. “ _Then_ what should we do?”

Xiao Zhan opened his arms and gathered Yibo in, where the younger man buried his nose in Xiao Zhan’s chest. “I don’t think we have much of a choice. We’ll need to tell our management.”

“That’s going to be a shit storm and you know it,” Yibo said, his voice muffled by Xiao Zhan’s shirt. “I can already hear Yu-jie screaming at me.”

Xiao Zhan sighed, already seeing his manager’s face when he tells her the full situation. “Ugh. I’d be lucky if my manager ends up just screaming at me.”

Yibo chuckled. “Well then — we should have a joint meeting with both of our teams. That way we get a single screaming session and we can commiserate about it afterwards.”

Despite his trepidation, Xiao Zhan had to laugh. “Sounds like a plan, baobei.”

~

In the end, it was both better and worse than what they had both imagined.

It turned out to be surprisingly easy to bring both their management teams to a single meeting, given how the critical members of both parties already knew about their relationship and were just as invested in ensuring that it did not jeopardise either of their careers. Successful as A-Ling had become, they were still considered fledgling idols, and there was much to be lost if everything were to come to light. After all, everyone in the group relied on both Yibo and Xiao Zhan’s continued success to give them a steady pay check.

However, while Xiao Zhan had imagined screaming, what they were met with was actually an eerie silence. Yu-jie, Yibo’s primary manager, was staring at Xiao Zhan with a completely blank expression, her jaw hanging halfway open, while Zhang Jing, Xiao Zhan’s manager, looked like she had been hit over the head, blinking rapidly as she looked at Yibo, then at Xiao Zhan, then back at Yibo in utter disbelief. Everyone else around the table had completely gone still as statues.

“O-kay,” Yibo said, in his usual manner, “Are you guys going to say anything, or are we supposed to make the decisions here?”

That seemed to wake Yu-jie up. “Well, you guys apparently already _did_.”

Yibo rolled his eyes. “It’s not like we would have been able to predict this, jie.”

“Oh yeah? Have you ever heard of protection? I can’t believe you were so careless as to —”

“Yeah, sure, we should have used protection because we knew Zhan-ge was a potential carrier.” Yibo shook his head. “Not.”

“Don’t be a smart ass, Yibo.”

“I’m not, I’m just —“

Xiao Zhan raised his hand, and Yibo immediately subsided, but not before throwing a dark look at his manager. “Alright. I don’t think arguing about ifs and buts would help us in any way right now.” He sighed. “We need a plan.”

“A plan that would help keep both your careers intact and have your baby? That’s a tall order, laoban,” Zhang Jing said. “I’m a manager, not a magician.”

“Well, that’s what we pay you all for,” Yibo volleyed back without any hesitation.

“Baobei, please,” Xiao Zhan pleaded, removing his glasses and massaging the bridge of his nose. “This is hard enough as it is. Don’t give me a headache on top of it.”

Yibo glared at everyone’s general direction before pulling his chair nearer to Xiao Zhan. He grabbed the bottle of water that had been placed in front of Xiao Zhan and uncapped it quickly, pouring it into a glass. “Here, Zhan-ge. Have some water. Maybe it’s also because of all the throwing up you did this morning ...”

Xiao Zhan took the proffered glass with a small smile. “Yeah, maybe.” He took a small sip, giving Yibo a pointed look. “Or maybe you can be a little less ... combative? We’re all on the same side here.”

“Only if this whole discussion means I get to keep you and our baby.” Yibo pouted. “I don’t want to settle for anything else.”

“Neither of us will, don’t worry.” Xiao Zhan tapped Yibo’s cheek. “Come on, Bo-di. Work with me, please?”

Yibo sighed. “Fine.”

Xiao Zhan smiled. God, did he love this man. He began to lean forward to give Yibo a kiss, but was stopped by Yu-jie’s voice. “Well that’s a first,” she said, crossing her arms, still looking put out, but less upset.

“A first?” Xiao Zhan frowned, leaning back into his seat. “A first what?”

“First time I’ve seen anyone really get Yibo to do anything he clearly doesn’t want to do.” Yu-jie smirked, but Xiao Zhan saw the fondness that lay behind it. “He did tell me that he loved you, Xiao-laoshi, but I have to say, I didn’t realise how much.”

Yibo opened his mouth to speak, but Xiao Zhan preempted it by placing his hand over Yibo’s lips. “Yes. Yibo and I are very invested in our relationship, Yu-jie,” he said respectfully. “But we both share the same end goal — that we get to go through this together, have our baby, and keep our careers somehow. This is why we’ve called everyone here, so that we can all work towards this goal.”

Yu-jie sighed. “Well, Jing-mei was right — that is a tall order.” She shook herself, then sat up straighter to address everyone around the table. “However, Yibo is also right in that this is what you pay us for, so let’s get our brains together, people. Ideas. I want ideas, however off the wall or strange.”

“Let’s set our desired endpoints, then,” Zhang Jing said, ticking off with her fingers. “First, allow Xiao-laoshi to somehow stay out of the public eye for the duration of his pregnancy without anyone questioning why. Second, make sure that his commitments during that period would not affect his pregnancy. Third, assuming we do both things — ensure that Yibo’s actions do not point towards anything strange, or it would raise further suspicion.”

“Sounds about right,” Xiao Zhan nodded.

One of Yueha’s other managers scratched his head. “I think the first one is the hardest. Like — how do you make one of the hottest stars of China today disappear while _still_ being in China, but no one would question it?”

“Agreed. He could hole up at home, sure, but that’s not normal —“

Yu-jie snapped her fingers. “Actually, no. If we’re lucky, it will be.”

Yibo looked at her. “Eh?”

“There’s rumours that the total lockdown going on in Wuhan will soon be nationwide. Some sort of virus, supposedly.” Yu-jie slapped her hand on the table. “If everyone is made to stay home, then that solves the problem of Xiao-laoshi not going out — because everyone else will be in their own homes.”

Xiao Zhan looked at her, feeling hopeful. “Really? How do we know that will happen for sure?”

“Well, it’s not absolutely certain yet, but at the very least I’m betting that movement will be restricted somehow. That means less people following you around.”

“Right. Okay. Good.” Xiao Zhan bit his lip. “But I think we need a back up to that. Or something to ... I don’t know, hammer the idea in. I need to be able to justify not being seen if others can still do so, even if it’s to a limited extent.”

Cheng Fei, Xiao Zhan’s wardrobe manager, grimaced. “Or at least justify you wearing super baggy clothes, all the time.” 

“Doesn’t he already?” Yibo piped up. “Baggy clothes can only hide so much. Eventually his tummy will still show.” He jabbed the air. “No. What we have to come up with is a story of some sort.”

Xiao Zhan blinked at him. “A story?”

“Yeah, a spin,” Yibo said, rubbing his hands together. “Talent companies make them all the time. We are what our fans perceive us, after all. So what we need to have is a spin, a story, that portrays you to be someone who has to hide for sometime, but something that you could recover from when the time is right.”

“I don’t know, Wang-laoshi,” Zhang Jing said doubtfully. “What sort of story can make that happen?”

“Something that would make people rally behind Xiao Zhan.” Yu-jie chimed in, scratching her nose as she spoke. “Yibo is right. He needs to be seen as some sort of ... I don’t know, like a fallen hero. Someone who people would feel sorry for, so they would respect the distance he’ll put between himself and his fans. And make it last a while.”

“And how are we supposed to sell that idea?” Liu Yi, one of Yu-jie’s assistants, piped up. “We definitely can’t fabricate any statements from either studios; management would never go for that. Whatever we do, this needs to be an outside influence.”

Everyone around the table fell silent, contemplating the thought.

A timid hand went up into the air, causing all of them to turn towards the small woman at the end of the table. Xiao Zhan couldn’t even remember her name. “Well. Okay. Here goes nothing,” she said, biting her lip. “I think ... I think what we need to do is to involve Xiao-laoshi in a scandal.”

“A _what_?” Yibo said immediately, his eyes going wide. “Absolutely not!”

“Wait, Wang-laoshi, please hear me out,” she continued, even though she seemed to shrink in on herself after Yibo’s outburst. “Yu-jie said we should consider all ideas.”

Yu-jie nodded. “That’s right, Lou-mei,” she said, glaring at Yibo. “Let her speak.”

When Yibo glared at her but said nothing else, Lou-mei sat forward tentatively. “Well, there’s one thing that unites all of Xiao-laoshi’s and Wang-laoshi’s fans, and that’s Cheng Qing Ling. It’s what made them famous, but it’s also made them infamous, because it’s a BL story. However much they tried to keep that aspect out of the story, it still came through.” She bit her lip again, looking timid. “I’ve been seeing a lot of theories that people are coming up with about both of you as actors. Half of them seem to believe that you are already in a relationship, while another half think that you’re just very good friends. That’s the point that we can exploit.”

Zhang Jing frowned. “How? Shall we ... what, out them?”

“Not for real!” Luo-mei said, waving her hands. “That’s what I mean. We just need to fabricate a scandal based on that perception, something that people could fight over.”

Xiao Zhan stared at her. His mind was reeling at the idea of being involved in a scandal of any sort, fabricated or not; his whole being prided on his reputation, and here he was, possibly on the way to being mired in something that would justify his disappearance, even for a while. He thanked all the gods possible that his parents, at least, already knew all about this. “But ... Luo-mei, assuming this works ... would I ever be able to survive a scandal?”

“You will, Xiao-laoshi, if it’s actually obvious that it’s untrue.” Lou-mei sat back, smiling. “And the way to make sure of that is that the scandal has to be outside of you or your control.”

“Mmm. But it has to stir everyone’s passion about Xiao Zhan and Yibo,” Yu-jie said, nodding. “That way we get fan protection and ensure that they’ll still be there at the end of it.”

“But ...” Yibo looked around at all of them, bewilderment sketched all over his face. “How do we do that?”

“I have an idea,” Zhang Jing cut in, and Xiao Zhan turned to her in surprise. She grinned at him excitedly. “Have you guys ever heard of this site called Archive of Our Own ...?”


	7. Chapter 7

Yibo woke slowly, luxuriating in the fact that — for the first time in a long time — there was nowhere he had to be, no person he had to answer to, and nothing to do. Quarantine sucked, big time, but it definitely had its perks, and hmm ... now that he thought about it, perhaps he had _nothing_ to do, but he did have _someone_ he could do.

He flopped over, flinging an arm full of intention, but came up empty. Surprised, he cracked open an eye to scan the other side of the bed; the sheets were rumpled and the pillow askew, but his boyfriend was nowhere in sight. It was cold enough that Yibo knew that Xiao Zhan had been up early, and it had been quiet enough that he also knew that it had not been morning sickness that had sent the older man from the bed.

Pulling himself out of bed after putting on a pair of jogging pants, Yibo wandered towards the kitchen, but the smells of breakfast and coffee were conspicuously absent, so he figured that Xiao Zhan was not somewhere putting their meal together. The bathroom he had passed on the way was empty as well, and so was the living room, which left only one place.

Yibo pulled the sliding door sideways, stepping out onto the small, secluded balcony where he could see Xiao Zhan hunched over his phone as he sat on one of the wicker chairs they had left in the space for that purpose. Despite the noise he made, however, Xiao Zhan did not turn around, nor acknowledge Yibo’s presence in any way.

Yibo frowned. “Zhan-ge?”

Xiao Zhan lifted a hand wordlessly, his head still bowed.

“What are you doing up so early?” Yibo walked around Xiao Zhan to peer at the phone screen and see what the latter had been staring at.

It was Instagram. And apparently flooded with messages. A quick glance at the emojis that accompanied the messages told him that a good number of those didn’t say anything positive.

_Oh, god. The shit storm had apparently begun._

Yibo met Xiao Zhan’s eyes, and felt his heart break at the sight. His beloved’s eyes, which were ordinarily full of mischief and joy, were now shimmering with unshed tears and sorrow. At that moment Yibo hated everything that came with their hard won fame — hated the fact that they could not be together in the way every ordinary couple could; hated the idea that Xiao Zhan had to be embroiled in a scandal, however fake, during a time that was supposed to be happy and positive; hated that he could not tell the world how excited he was to be a father — hated all of the circumstances that brought sadness to Xiao Zhan’s eyes from the very bottom of his heart. Most of all, he hated that he was utterly helpless in the face of what Xiao Zhan was going through, and — if the fan response was anything to go by — was yet to go through.

“Yibo,” Xiao Zhan said, softly, cutting into his thoughts and covering his hands with his. It was only then that Yibo realised that he had clenched his hands into fists, white knuckled in the face of his anger that knew no outlet.

Yibo closed his eyes briefly, sighing. Trust Xiao Zhan to be on the verge of tears and yet be the first one to comfort him in his distress. _Ugh, grow up, Yibo_ ,he told himself firmly. “It’s alright, Zhan-ge. Ignore those assholes.”

Xiao Zhan smiled sadly, sniffing. “I can’t, baobei. It’s actually their anger and their presence that’s keeping you, me and our baby safe from prying eyes. In a way ... I’m thankful.”

Yibo couldn’t stop himself from snorting in disbelief. “Those are thankful tears, then?”

“Well ... no. Not really. It’s just ...” Xiao Zhan bit his lip. “When Jing-mei came up with this crazy idea, I thought, no one would pay attention. I mean ... really? A bit of fiction about the two of us, and it’s supposed to be a scandal? Why would anyone bother over something that’s obviously not true?” He traced Yibo’s knuckles absently. “What I didn’t count on was this ... hatred. I can’t believe it. A few days ago these same people were screaming for us, pledging their lives to us. And now ... now ...”Xiao Zhan closed his eyes briefly, then opened them again to gaze at Yibo. “Why are they like that, Yibo? Why?”

“You want the short version?” Yibo lowered himself to the other chair, pulling it so that it was right in front of Xiao Zhan. “As I said. They’re assholes.”

When Xiao Zhan didn’t answer beyond a sigh, Yibo reached over to cup Xiao Zhan’s chin, running a thumb over his cheekbone. “Baobei, I did tell you not to look at your social media accounts, right? Didn’t my own experience during my birthday live tell you anything?”

“Yes, you did,” Xiao Zhan said with a wince, clearly remembering Yibo’s disastrous livestream and the aftermath. “I guess I was curious. Stupid of me, I know.”

“Not stupid,” Yibo frowned as he tucked a strand of hair behind Xiao Zhan’s ear. “It’s perfectly natural for you to be curious. But now that you know — then get off. Just don’t look. Let the storm pass. It can’t be good for you to be so sad.”

Xiao Zhan sighed again, giving his mobile phone a wistful glance. “Maybe I should just delete my Instagram account, since I’m not looking at it anyway.”

Yibo nodded. “Good idea. The less places they have to come at you, the better.” He bent down, pulled the phone from Xiao Zhan’s hands, then stood up, easily dodging Xiao Zhan’s feeble attempts to get his mobile back. “But that’s for later. Right now, you need breakfast. Remember, the doctor said you have to eat more, since you’re eating for two.”

“And how are we supposed to have breakfast, Lao Wang?” Xiao Zhan looked up at Yibo, fists on his hips. “Lele swung by and brought groceries in as per the nutritionist’s orders, but there isn’t any cooked food.”

“I can cook,” Yibo said. “I’m sure there’s something —“

“Aiya, no,” Xiao Zhan broke in, standing up from the chair, an expression of mild horror on his face. “No, baobei, as long as there’s breath in my body, you are not cooking anything. I like this apartment; I don’t want to set it on fire.”

Yibo felt his ears flame. “That was just one time.”

“And one time is plenty enough,” Xiao Zhan chuckled, reaching out to ruffle Yibo’s hair. “I love you and you are unnaturally good at many things, but cooking is not one of them.”

Despite the teasing, Yibo felt himself smile when he heard Xiao Zhan’s genuine laughter, felt his heart lift. He would take any dig at his person for as long as it kept Xiao Zhan smiling. He would take anything the world threw their way, for as long as it meant that Xiao Zhan and their baby were safe. Nothing else mattered.

“Alright, baobei, you win,” Yibo said easily, catching Xiao Zhan by the waist and pulling him in for a hug. He nosed behind Xiao Zhan’s ear, blew softly into it, and was rewarded with another giggle as the other man tried futilely to escape. “I won’t burn the house down. But I claim first dibs on the cook.”

~

**March 2019**

Xiao Zhan lounged on the sofa, sipping his herbal tea as he watched Yibo adjust the laptop’s camera and the ring light in front of him, fluffing up his hair and adjusting the pink sweatshirt he had on. It wasn’t everyday that Yibo wore the colour, but when he did, it made him unbearably younger, somehow highlighting his hair and apple cheeks in such a way that it was almost a throw back to his blond-and-maknae days.

It had been quite a scramble that morning, Yibo getting the message from Yueha that he had an online shoot with his Day Day Up brothers today right after they were coming down from their second orgasm of the day. They had been fully prepared to stay in bed until hunger forced them to leave it, but with that plan foiled, Yibo had to frantically paw through their closet to find something suitable to wear, and ended up borrowing Xiao Zhan’s sweatshirt.

The memory made Xiao Zhan smile. Pink wasn’t something that Yibo voluntarily wore; he had been called ‘pretty’ much too often in his life that it turned him off permanently from anything that would prompt others to repeat it, and wearing pink was one of those things. It surprised Xiao Zhan, therefore, to see Yibo emerge triumphantly from the closet clutching the sweatshirt, grinning from ear to ear.

“Hey, that’s mine,” Xiao Zhan said, blinking. “And it’s pink.”

“Yeah, that’s why it’s perfect,” Yibo had answered, pleased.

“O-kay,” Xiao Zhan frowned. “I thought you hated pink. How is it perfect?”

“Pink is the colour of pregnancy,” Yibo said, puffing his chest out proudly. “I’m celebrating our baby in front of the cameras, Zhan-ge.”

Xiao Zhan laughed in surprise. “You do realise that no one would know, or get your message?”

“I don’t care.” Yibo pulled the sweatshirt over his head, then turned to examine himself in the mirror before looking back at Xiao Zhan, who was still reclining on the bed. “What matters is that I know, and that you know. Everyone else can rot, even as I’m thumbing my nose at them.”

Xiao Zhan shook his head. “You crazy child.”

Yibo winked. “That’s not what you were calling me earlier.”

“Shut up,” Xiao Zhan said, feeling his cheeks heat.

Yibo knelt on the bed and took Xiao Zhan’s face with both hands. “You’re adorable,” he said, a soft smile on his face. “And I love you so much. You know that, right?”

Xiao Zhan nodded, tears flooding his eyes inexplicably. “Yes. Yes, I do.” He sniffed. “I love you, too. So, so much.”

“Good. That’s good.” Yibo swiped a thumb across Xiao Zhan’s cheek to catch a tear that had made its way down, kissed his nose before quickly ducking his head to kiss Xiao Zhan’s stomach, then sat back up with a bright smile. “Well, I better take a shower. Papa has to go to work!”

~

Xiao Zhan startled awake to Yibo shaking his arm gently. He was vaguely surprised to note that the room was quite dark, and it took him a few seconds to realise that it was because all the lights, including the ring light that had been giving off a glare that had made his eyes tired just by looking at it, were turned off.

He blinked at Yibo, his eyes and mouth still stuffed with sleep. “Wattimesit?”

“Way past your bedtime, baobei,” Yibo said softly, running his hand through Xiao Zhan’s hair. “I’m sorry I took so long. We had to adjust so many things because none of us were used to this, and you know I’m terrible at talking, so they had to keep asking for a reshoot.”

Xiao Zhan nodded. “S’okay.” He tried to sit up, but ended up flopping back when he discovered that one of his legs had fallen asleep as well in the cramped position he had dozed in. “Oh. Ow.”

Yibo huffed. “You should have gone to bed,” he said, shaking his head. Bending his legs, he slid his arms under Xiao Zhan’s knees and upper back, and scooped him up, causing Xiao Zhan to squeal and clutch at Yibo’s neck like some maiden in distress.

“This is entirely unnecessary,” Xiao Zhan protested, trying to squirm free. “Put me down. I have legs.”

“Yes, and they’re so damn long,” Yibo deadpanned, holding him tighter and swinging around to begin walking to the bedroom. “Stop kicking them out, Zhan-ge, unless you want to fall.”

Xiao Zhan rolled his eyes. “This is so caveman of you, honestly.”

“Well, you are pregnant with my child, so pardon me if I get all caveman. You bring it out of me.”

“A caveman in pink,” Xiao Zhan laughed as he plucked at the material around Yibo’s neck. “How’d your Day Day Up brothers take it?”

Yibo chuckled. “They kept ribbing me, trying to make me blush. That’s what I get for letting them know about all this!” He shook his head. “Feng-ge said I was glowing, and Zhang-ge kept asking me why I looked so happy.”

Xiao Zhan smiled, poking Yibo’s nose as he managed to somehow shoulder the bedroom door open and turn the lights on. “And what did you say?”

“Nothing, of course.”

“Must have been the pink,” Xiao Zhan mused.

“Honestly?” Yibo leaned down to put Xiao Zhan gently on the bed. “No. It’s just that they were talking about something — I forget what — and I zoned out because I was watching you sleep, all curled up on the couch with your hand on your stomach. I mean, what else could I do but smile? You and my baby were both there. Everyone that’s important to me is in one place.”

Xiao Zhan giggled as he turned over to lay on his stomach, making like he was a mermaid on the sand. “As I said. Caveman. In pink.”

“And as I said,” Yibo grinned, “You’re the one who brings it out of me, so you can’t complain.”

“We—eell,” Xiao Zhan hummed, looking up from where he lay on the bed and reaching out to toy with the sweatshirt’s hem even as he batted his eyelashes at his boyfriend. “I think I’d rather bring you out of this thing. Then I promise I won’t complain.”

Yibo’s grin promptly disappeared as he hastily pulled the sweatshirt off and dove onto the bed to pin Xiao Zhan down. “Sounds good to me,” he whispered just before he claimed Xiao Zhan’s mouth in a kiss.


End file.
